how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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