Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
