trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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