32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
