Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize