Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize