you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Randomize
