u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
