Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
did i just pee glitter
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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