It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Terrible idea I love it
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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