there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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