The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
My penis needs a shock collar
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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