Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
