that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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