hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
lets start a swedish sibling band together
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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