Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
