Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
