Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize