It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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