I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
he just fucked me for my cheese..
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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