i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
