: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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