check it out our google latitudes are spooning
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
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