Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
