I only kidnapped one of them. chill
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
