just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
