you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
