oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
