Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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