ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Holy sore nipples Batman
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
