I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I just want nice things and good sex
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize