Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
