You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
