If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Found your dick twin last night
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
