fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
