i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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