So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
We talked him into tasing himself.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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