What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
