Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
she peed on how many people?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
