she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Randomize
