Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
