woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
