I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
