Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
