is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize