shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
