The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize