Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
