You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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