Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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