You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
