Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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