You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
