He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
