Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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