Whod you bang
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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