well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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