You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
