I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
