he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
