Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
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