You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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