I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize