Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
