You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
