Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
