clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize