Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
