Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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