I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
