Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize