So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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