yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
