How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
We smell like vodka and hangover
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