She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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